Cosy crimes and gritty sagas by Corrie Blog editor Glenda, published by Headline. Click pic below!

Saturday 4 November 2017

Five Things We Learned In Corrie This Week


The Yasmeen-Sally feud rumbles on.  It went a bit quiet for a while, with a seeming detente achieved, but it's good to know that Yasmeen and Sally will still prick at one another given the opportunity.  It won't take much to restart the glorious war of snobbery between these two Alpha Women; someone reignite the whole gazebo vs orangery debate.  The consequent fireworks would save us a bomb on November 5th.


Silence is golden.  Joseph has returned from Spain apparently mute due to the trauma of losing his mother.  My question is: how can they tell?  Children on Corrie tend to be silent before the age of ten anyway.  I'm pretty sure Ruby's said about eight words during her five years on this earth, and both Hope and Jack were only allowed to speak when they'd been given new heads who could be trusted.  Joseph's job for the next few years is just to eat fish fingers in silence until he hits puberty, when he'll turn into a sex mad demon child who'll snort coke off the climbing frame in the Red Rec.


Corrie themed exercise videos are still big sellers.  Now the product placement rules have been relaxed, Helen Worth felt free to slip in a subtle reference to her forthcoming exercise DVD.  Coming this January to a Tesco near you, Gail Platt Gets Buns Of Steel By Strutting Down Crimea Street In Lycra.  It's fun and easy and doesn't at all make you look like John Inman after a couple of margaritas!


The Street's residents are very, very polite.  How else do you explain that Robert and David radically changed their appearance and no-one felt the need to comment on it?  A cursory mention of Robert being a "silver fox" aside, there was absolutely no dwelling on the brand new hair situations going on with the pair of them.  Has David been replaced by his evil twin?  Was Robert scared so much in prison he turned platinum?  We'll never know.


Audrey Roberts remains the Street's premier lush.  A few weeks ago, we noticed that Audrey spent her entire day in the Rovers knocking back G&Ts.  This week, Rita's celebration - a party that basically consisted of Gemma, Jenny, Gail and Audrey on Wednesday's episodes - descended into a wild debauched rave involving kebabs and single malt.  Since Gail was off powerwalking, Jenny went to bed with an oblivious Johnny, and Rita is an octogenarian, Gemma can only have spent her night partying with the former Lady Mayoress.  And judging by the state of Gemma, it looks like Audrey came off better.  That's the advantage being a professional alcoholic gives you.

If you have your own ideas about how to get Yasmeen and Sally arguing again, let me know on Twitter @merseytart.



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5 comments:

AriesRadio said...

I like the new looks on both Robert and David, but I too was baffled because no one mentioned it, I thought it had to be me, I must’ve missed it.

Anonymous said...

Part of Joseph trauma also includes long spells of being in his room, never playing with the other Corrie children, and perhaps going missing or narrowly missing being crushed or burned only to be found safe but further traumatized till age fourteen or so when they are replaced by a more skilled actor.

Anonymous said...

Sinead has become a self centered character and insensitive character.
First she proposes to Chesney who just learned Katy the mother of his son had just been killed in a car accident,celebrates her engagement while Katy hasn't even been buried yet and has a party celebrating Joseph's return even though he's just lost his mother?!
I doubt Beth would have wanted any 'celebrations'if Sinead was killed in a car accident leaving a child without his mother.

Anonymous said...

Not liking Sinead with those huge eyes and whiny voice. And where are Hope, Faith and Liam when their parents are in the Rovers?Though I can understand Sinead having a ‘welcome’ party for Joseph I think the good intentions were there probably to make him feel at home.

Where's Emily?? said...



Five things I've learned this past week?

1. Sinead is a terrible character...boring and stupid
2. The program was realistic and believable..now...it's not
3. The Coronation Street Blog and fans are way better than the actual show
4. In the old days..Steve would've been able to give Robert some real zingers...and as if Sarah would've let an opportunity to needle David slide by
5. The destruction of my beloved soap..is an inside job. C'mon, there are some fine actors, give them some decent,believable,normal dialogue.

GRITTY SAGAS BY CORRIE BLOG EDITOR GLENDA YOUNG, PUBLISHED BY HEADLINE. CLICK PIC BELOW!

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