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Wednesday, 25 February 2009

Coronation Street fun pages website updated

Canadian Corrie fan Christine Warren runs the great Coronation Street Fun Pages website and it's just been updated.

There's even more quizzes, photos, fun stuff and fan stuff, all well worth checking out here.

Steve McDonald gurn of the week - Feb 25 2009

This week there's two gurns for the price of one as the sensational Steve McDonald prepares for his wedding to Becky Granger.




If you've captured a good Steve gurn and want to share it via the blog, do email it in.

To see more gurnage from Stevie McGurn, have a look here, there's loads. Some good, some bad and some really very funny.

Roy Cropper's credit crunch breakfast

Watching the live episode of Coronation Street from Corrie's 40th anniversary in 2000 at the BFI special screening, I noticed that Roy Cropper's breakfast in the caff was the budget price of £2.95.

Fast forward from December 2000 to February 2009 and tonight's episode of Corrie revealed that the menu in Roy's Rolls remains much the same with breakfast still at £2.95. Now that's what I call a bargain.

Picture courtesy of some wonderful behind-the-scenes snaps here.

Corrie's trumpet player reveals all

NOTE: THIS BLOG POST HAS NOW BEEN UPDATED WITH FULL INFORMATION ABOUT DAVE BROWNING AND RONNIE HUNT. HAVE A LOOK HERE

With thanks to fellow bloggers at the Orchestra Zone for alerting me to this one. Their post even includes an article at the end of it written by me for Corrieblog many moons ago.

Dave Browning played the trumpet on the original Coronation Street theme tune. And for the past 40-odd years, the man behind the instantly-recognisable opening bars of Corrie's signature tune has modestly kept quiet about his claim to fame. And despite being used to start 5,826 episodes, trumpeter Dave Browning, 68, has revealed how he has only ever received a one-off fee.

Brass band player Dave, from Wilmslow, said: “I suppose if a repeat fee had been part of the deal all those years ago I’d be a rich man. But all I got was a one-off fee of £36 because that was the musicians’ union rate for working on a theme. I was happy with the fee at the time, but Granada Television have all the rights so there won’t be any more for it. I was just 24-years-old when I was approached by the musical director to record the theme in 1960. In those days, if Granada wanted a trumpet player and I was in the right place at the right time to get the job."

Listen to Dave play the Corrie tune, solo on trumpet, click here.
Want to hear a reggae/ska style version of the Corrie theme tune? Click here

Sneak preview of next week's Corrie in 50 words or less, March 2 - 6

Without any piffle, here's the storyline for the week ahead on Coronation Street, all wrapped up nicely in 50 words or less.

Week of Monday 2 March to Friday 6 March

Leanne leaves for Leeds when Peter’s girlfriend arrives, Tina testifies against David in court, Norris ends up in a neck brace after Graeme does some gardening, Lloyd lies to Liz and Ken kisses Martha on her barge.

The full weekly preview, with pictures, is right here on Corrie.net

Missed last week's Corrie?
Catch up with the Coronation Street Weekly Updates

Corrie live screening at the BFI – a review

It was a small, mainly male, and appreciative audience who turned up at the BFI Southbank on Tuesday 24th February 2009 to watch their favourite soap screened live on the cinema screen. As part of its ‘Live TV’ series, the BFI screened three live episodes of Corrie on the big screen, two black and white episodes from 1961 and the 40th anniversary episode from 2000.

Immediately noticeable in the 1961 episodes was how fitting they were to be shown at the cinema. The live theatrical performance burst into life when shown on the big screen, as if Corrie had been designed to always be shown off that way, not contained in a small box in the corner of a front room. Also noticeable was the speed of delivery of the clacking of dialogue written by Corrie creator Tony Warren. And of course, the dominance of each episode by the women - Elsie Tanner, Ena Sharples, Minnie Caldwell, Annie Walker – with the men providing the background, being feckless, daft or just a plumber passing by. Spotted in the early episodes were actress Beryl Bainbridge and actor Tony Booth, the man who went on to become ex-Prime Minister Tony Blair’s father-in-law and real-life husband of Pat Phoenix, who played Elsie Tanner.

Ken Barlow tried to ban the bomb in episodes from the 60s and in the 40th anniversary live episode from 2000 he was crusading again, this time to save the very essence of the Street - the cobbles. The 2000 episode didn’t seem any more polished than the 60s live episodes, there were technical and acting blips in both. But there was less nuance and subtlety. In the 60s episodes a piercing look from Ena Sharples deserved a scene of its own, in the 2000 episode there was no time for such luxury. The dialogue remained as sharp as ever and British royalty appeared when Prince Charles popped up in a scene.

Corrie has come a long way over the decades to stake its claim as not only the best drama serial in the UK and the second longest running soap in the world, but as an integral part of our British culture. As a Corrie fan of over 35 years, watching my favourite telly show at the cinema with a shared audience was an unusual experience but one that I wouldn’t have missed for the world.

Monday, 23 February 2009

Coronation Street Weekly Update, February 23 2009

Sign up to receive the Coronation Street Weekly Updates by email, click here.

This week the update comes to you piping hot and fresh out of the oven with that just-baked aroma. Or is it half-baked? I never can tell. Anyway, without any further ado, here we go with this week’s Coronation Street update.

There’s a new man in town when cool-hand Luke arrives to take over Carla’s dark share of the Underworld. Luke Strong - clad in black and driving a red sports car, he’s clearly not the sort of man familiar with the foibles of public transport. He’s at odds with mad-eye Tony and loved by the girls when he tells them to knock off early and then buys them all a beer in the bar.

It’s Tina’s 18th birthday but there’s little celebration when Joe’s lock-up gets smashed up by Len Windass. The Windass clan want to put the frighteners on Tina so she’ll tell the truth about David throwing the first punch at Gary when the case goes to court. David wants Tina to lie through her teeth or he could become familiar with prison food again. Joe gets an offer he can’t refuse from Len Windass who tells him there’s 19, count ‘em, 19 kitchens he can fit if he can get Tina to tell the truth in court. Joe’s skint and tempted by the sleazy offer and gets Tina to tell him the truth about who threw the first punch. Will the king of kitchen fitting really dob his daughter in? Tune in next week to find out. Meanwhile, Gail reminisces about her old mate Suzi Birchall. “She was a bit of a go-er,” she recalls, and indeed she was, although my lovely man insists what Gail actually said about Suzi was this: “She was a bit of a goddess.”

Ken returns from seeing Peter in Portsmouth and takes his empty suitcase straight to the floating fun palace to see Martha on her barge. He tells her he can’t come to her opening night as Blanche du Bois, much as he’d like to, as Deirdre wants him at home making embarrassed conversation with Lloyd and Liz over a lamb tagine and a bottle of Frescho red. The dinner party guests assemble around the Barlow tea-table and Ken leaves his sulky soak in the bath and comes in his kimono (not literally). But his wasn’t the worst fashion faux-pas of the night. Liz McDonald had the bad-taste fairies working overtime with her two-tops of black lace and animal print. Which animal? It was really hard to say. I’m not entirely sure it was even dead.

Ken manages to sneak away the next night to see Martha on stage and goes for a nibble afterwards before he kisses her on the towpath, always a good spot. Meanwhile, Deirdre sits at home with a half-baked moussaka and a worried look on her face. Ken, a man used to fibbing about floozies, says he was at the theatre with Ted. Deirdre, a woman clearly not accustomed to her fella’s fibbing, believes him. Yet again.

In the butcher shop, Ashley’s upset and confused when Graeme starts repeating his words, I say, repeating his words whenever he wears Fred’s old butcher’s cap, I say hat. I say could you stop doing this it’s really annoying, I say irritating. Could Graeme’s head be channelling the spirit of Fred? No, alas not. It’s a lot less exciting as Graeme fesses up that Claire told him all about Fred and his odd, I say weird, speech pattern and it was all just a joke. Ashley didn’t laugh.

Over in the Rovers, Becky tries and fails to bond with little Amy. Liz is upset when she spies Amy sitting on the kitchen worktop next to the oven, Becky feeding her a mug of builder’s tea and a fried breakfast. She ticks off Becky after she compliments Amy on her dress for an after-school party she’d just been to. Well, Becky did say to the kid summat about being able to pull the boys in a get-up like that. Liz, a woman who once smeared make-up all over her granddaughter’s face, tutted and grimaced, both at the same time.

And elsewhere this week, Michelle Connor starts work in the bookies and tries to grips with a Yankee. Although probably not this one. Let's just hope she gets it right as Dan and Harry Mason didn't have a clue.

And that’s just about that for this week.

Coronation Street writers this week were David Lane, Peter Whalley, Simon Crowther, Damon Rochefort and Martin Allen.

Glenda
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Blogging away merrily at http://flamingnora.blogspot.com/

Tony Gordon becomes Maria Connor's midwife

Someone at The Sun must be in ITV's good books as the tabloid has been getting fed all of the Coronation Street spoilers over the last few weeks.

And here's another good one - Tony Gordon will become Maria Connor's midwife when she goes into labour and he delivers the baby. But wait, there's more. Tony delivers the baby on a deserted beach while he's having a romantic day out with the Corrie crimper. The Corrie source told the paper: "Delivering her baby makes Tony a hero in her eyes. What Tony gets, Tony wants. He’s ruthless and now Carla’s off the scene he’s determined to have Maria — and Liam’s baby.” Urgh.

See also: Tony Gordon beds Maria Connor

Sunday, 22 February 2009

Will Bradley Walsh be returning to Corrie?

Bradley Walsh played Danny wide-boy Baldwin in Coronation Street and in a great interview in the MEN says he has been asked to return to Corrie but has other acting commitments at the moment.

Now, I was never sure about Danny Baldwin. To me he was in the wrong soap, a cockney on the cobbles. Anyway, actor Bradley Walsh stars in ITV's new series of Law and Order: UK soon as recovering alcoholic Det Sgt Ronnie Brooks. Read more, see pics and watch a video on Ian Wylie's MEN blog.

Deirdre Barlow look-a-like wanted by police

This Coronation Street blog's posts are original and quirky because that's the way my brain works (and there's much more to blogging than copy and paste). But sometimes blog posts are quirky and weird and true, like this one.

Police are hunting a Deirdre Barlow look-a-like who stole £2,500 from a man with a brain tumour after he collapsed on a busy street. The woman, who bore a striking resemblance to Deirdre Barlow, was caught on CCTV. You can read the full story here.

Corrie's Zoe is Robin Hood's new woman

Joanne Froggatt, who played Zoe Tattersall in the daft cult of Nirab Coronation Street storyline, will be turning up as the new woman in the life of Robin Hood.

Missed Corrie this week?
Catch up with the Coronation Street Weekly Updates.

Corrie actors back Manchester Book Award 2009

Alison King (Carla Connor), Gray O'Brien (Tony Gordon), Julie Hesmondhalgh (Hayley Cropper) and Andy Whyment (Kirk Sutherland) are backing this year's Manchester Book Award, it says here. Find out more about the award, open to 11-14 year olds across Manchester at the website here.

Now then, this little snippet of info has started me thinking - we never really see any of the Coronation Street characters with a book in their hands, do we? Blanche is the only one I can recall enjoying a bit of reading, usually a big fat novel and usually in the bath. Bring back Mel Hutchwright and let the book club begin again!

Brooke Vincent on being Sophie Webster

Brooke Vincent, who plays Sophie Webster, says in an interview with The Sunday People that there's only one topic of conversation that boys want to have with her - and it's Rosie Webster! She told the paper: "I was on holiday recently in Gran Canaria and I was stood at the bar getting a drink and this lad asked, 'Are you off Coronation Street?' "I said I was and smiled and he shouted to his mate across the other side of the pool, 'Ryan, come here, come here! You know that fit bird out of Corrie?' And his mate goes, 'Yeah.' And he says, 'Well, that's her sister!' " You can read the full interview with Brooke right here.

Brooke has been on Corrie now for five years and on-screen dad Michael Le Vell, who plays Kevin, reckons she's a legend in the making. I think he might be right.

William Roache commits his future to Corrie

Following the death of his wife Sara recently, William Roache has said that although the thought of leaving Coronation Street as Ken Barlow passed through his mind, he says that he'll never leave the show he loves. If you'd like to, you can read the full interview with William Roache in the Sunday People.

He said: "I'll never quit the show I love. Sara would have wanted me to carry on. Apart from my family Coronation Street has been my life. At my lowest ebb it crossed my mind but I knew I could never walk away."

See also: William Roache's emotional farewell

Ryan Connor's a Rusholme Ruffian

Ryan Connor's band will turn up to play at the church youth group soon on Coronation Street. And in real life, actor Ben Thompson, who plays Ryan, sings and plays guitar in Indie band Rusholme Ruffians.

Listen to Rusholme Ruffians and see pictures on Myspace and the official band website. You can also catch them in action at an NSPCC charity gig on Saturday 14th March at Radcliffe Borough FC.

See more Corrie actors' official websites here.

Saturday, 21 February 2009

Vote for Corrie in the British Soap Awards 2009

Voting in the British Soap Awards 2009 opens Monday February 23rd so get your fingers ready to vote for Coronation Street at the official BSA site here. The show will be screened live on ITV in May.

See last year's winners here.

And don't forget to vote for Corrie in the All About Soap Bubble Awards 2009. Deadline March 2nd.

Who was Suzi Birchall?

In last Wednesday's episode of Coronation Street, Gail Platt sighed at the bar of the Rovers Return and reminisced about her old mate, Suzi Birchall. I'm of an, um, age which means that I remember the character of Suzi Birchall well. She had an even greater impact on males of the nation as she was as brassy as they come, and very sexy and sassy.

"She was a bit of a go-er," recalled Gail. Played by actress Cheryl Murray, you can read more about the wonderful Suzi Birchall at corrie.net

Corrie shock and awe: the Windass clan have a fan

Grace Dent's World of Lather always puts a smile on my face when I read her column once a month in The Guardian. But this month I was a little bemused and confused. Could it really be that she's a fan of the Coronation Street Windass clan? Read it and weep. What fans don't get, however, reading Grace's words online is the fantastic illustration from Thea Brine which accompanies each piece in the paper. This month it was a wonderful charicature of Ma and Pa Windass.

Mystery duck spotted in Coronation Street

Now then, ignore if you will the light that is shining out of Craig Charles' head and look to the right of this picture. There's a little yellow duck... see it?

It says here that the duck is the famous Hastings duck (never heard of it? me neither) who for 15 years has been a special guest in hotels owned by a Northern Ireland company. A spokeswoman for Hastings said she had “no idea” how the cunning duck had infiltrated the Corrie set but admitted it's also found its way onto rival soap Emmerdale in the past too.

Want to read more about ducks on Coronation Street? Click here.

Rupert Hill takes over classic Manchester pub

As Coronation Street's Jamie Baldwin he broke a few hearts, most notably his step-mother Frankie's in Corrie's bizarre family-lurve story. There's another one coming up too. Anyway, actor Rupert Hill left Corrie in 2007 and is now running a Manchester pub, says the MEN.

So, if you're in the area, why not pop into newly revamped Castle Hotel for a quick pint?

Chesney gets beaten up again - watch the filming

Poor Chesney. He doesn't appear on screen for months and when he does, he gets beaten up. There's some pictures of the filming of Coronation Street's latest punch-up on the official Corrie site so if that's your cup of tea then have a look at it here. The thug is school bully Kenzie and when Fiz steps in to help her brother, she turns to John Stape (boo, hiss) for support. Scenes will be shown in April.

Where have you seen Luke Strong before?

Luke Strong, the new Underworld factory boss arrived on Coronation Street on Friday 20th February 2009. Played by actor Craig Kelly, you might have seen him before as Vince Tyler in the seminal Channel 4 series Queer as Folk where he starred alongside Anthony Cotton, who plays knicker-stitcher Sean Tully. Vince Tyler's Queer as Folk mother was actress Denise Black, who played Ken Barlow's girlfriend, Denise Osborne. Craig's brother is ex-Shameless actor Dean Lennox Kelly. Craig has also appeared on TV in Casualty, Waking The Dead and as teacher Mr Treblecock in the third and final series of The Grimleys.

Corrie's new Mr Strong, however, shouldn't be confused with this one of the same name.

See also: Where have you seen before...?

Thursday, 19 February 2009

Sponsor Samia Smith and Anthony Cotton in Great Manchester Run

I've been asked by the nice people at the Kirsty Club charity to give a mention to Coronation Street's Anthony Cotton and Samia Smith (Sean Tully and Maria Connor).

Anthony and Samia are both taking part in the Great Manchester Run in May to raise funds for the Kirsty Club in support of Francis House Children's Hospice. There are places left for the run and any Corrie fans could be running next to Anthony and Samia.

Corrie fans can also sponsor Antony and Samia at http://www.thekirstyclub.com/. All sponsor names will be put into a draw and at the end of the run the winner will get to meet Anthony and Samia and also receive loads of Corrie memorabilia. There are some great Corrie pictures on the Kirsty Club website too.

Jason dates his aunty on Coronation Street

There's a bit of an odd story coming up on Corrie when Jason Grimshaw starts dating his aunt. Well, she's not strictly his aunt but Julie Carp does turn out to be Eileen Grimshaw's half-sister (as we guessed here a while back).

The Sun gets the award for spoiler of the week after it reveals that Jason and Julie get together before they both find out they're related.

Next week's Corrie in 50 words or less - Feb 23-27, 2009

Without any piffle, here's the storyline for the week ahead on Coronation Street, all wrapped up nicely in 50 words or less.

Week of Monday 23 February to Friday 27 February


Len stitches Joe up to get Tina to tell the truth, Deirdre finds out that Ken’s lying, Becky tries and fails to get close to Amy, Julie Carp’s mum arrives with secrets, Sally and Kev turn teetotal for Lent and Luke Strong moves into Victoria Court.

The full weekly preview, with pictures, is right here on Corrie.net

Missed last week's Corrie?

Steve McDonald gurn of the week - Feb 19 2009

It's time for another gurn from Coronation Street's sensational Steve McDonald. If you've captured a good Steve gurn and want to share it via the blog, do email it in.

To see more gurnage from Stevie McGurn, have a look here, there's loads. Some good, some bad and some really very funny.

Wednesday, 18 February 2009

Michael le Vell reckons Sophie Webster's a legend

Brooke Vincent, who plays Coronation Street's Sophie Webster, has given a great interview to The Daily Star in which she fiercely defends Corrie's decision to introduce a Christian to the show. You can read the article here.

Interestingly, right at the end of the piece, it says that Michael Le Vell, who plays Brooke's on-sreen dad Kevin Webster, reckons that Sophie Webster is "a legend in the making".

Brooke says: “It’s a privilege for anyone to have high expectations of you, especially Mike. He’s like a proper dad to me. I look up to Michelle Keegan as well. She’s a bit giddy like me and we clicked as soon as she arrived. She gives me advice on everything.”

See also: Where have you seen Sophie Webster's new boyfriend before?

Caprice joins Corrie

Glamour model turned DJ Caprice will be appearing live with Coronation Street "stars" it says here (although I hate calling them that; to me they're fab actors). The event is Boutique Chic on Tuesday 10 March at the Adelphi Hotel in Liverpool, as part of Liverpool fashion week. More details here.

From Mancs to the Yanks: Corrie to hit America?

The British ex-pat community will be overjoyed to hear that Coronation Street could be heading stateside, but are the yanks ready for cobbles and curlers?

ITV Studios managing director Lee Bartlett has revealed his ambition to launch Corrie in the US, it says here. Coronation Street has never sold to the US as a network show, but Mr Bartlett said yesterday that he wants to make the last 50 years of Corrie's archive available there on-demand.

Corrie Clarissa's New Tricks

Alexandra Boyd, who played Coronation Street fashion queen Clarissa Mason, landed a right good part when she left the Street. Not only has she been filming a movie with a certain Mr Travolta and she's now going to appear in an episode of New Tricks alongside Denis Waterman.

There's some great Corrie stuff on Alexandra Boyd's personal website here - she's one of only a handful of current and past Corrie actors who have their own websites. Check out the others here.

Tuesday, 17 February 2009

Becky Granger look-a-like

Now, bear with me on this one as I'm assured it works when you see Mick Ronson in action. Becky Granger from Coronation Street as David Bowie's guitarist Mick Ronson?

See more Corrie look-a-likes here.

Craig Charles captured drunk on video

T'other week he insulted Corrie fans and this week he's been on a bender and hit the tabloids again. He was out boozing with Simon Gregson, who plays Steve McDonald.

The Mirror reports a Street spokesman said: “Both Craig and Simon have been made aware of the allegations and have no comment to make.”

Bill Roache's emotional farewell to wife Sara

Bill Roache, who plays Coronation Street's Ken Barlow, is pictured here with Anne Kirkbride (Deirdre Barlow) at today's tribute to his 'perfect wife' Sara during her memorial service. Corrie cast members attended the hour-long service in Wilmslow. The Daily Mail has the full details along with some very sad pictures too.

Lucy-Jo Hudson stars in new comedy film

Lucy-Jo Hudson, who played Coronation Street killer Katy Harris and is the real-life fiance of Alan Halsall, who plays Tyrone Dobbs, is set to star in a new film. Lucy plays the part of Sam in the film Looking for Eric which will be released this year. It's a comedy based on the life of legendary footy player Eric ooh-aah Cantona.

Another Shameless Corrie blog post

There's quite a few links between Channel 4's fantastic Shameless and Coronation Street and if this spoiler comes true, it'd be great to have Shameless Frank Gallagher on Corrie.

But did you know that the actress who played "put that shovel down, Richard" Patricia Hillman is Annabelle Apsion - who plays Monica in Shameless.

John Stape and Theresa Morton return to Corrie

Is it just me who thinks John Stape's the dullest man in Weatherfield? Well, he's on his way back to Coronation Street, says Inside Soap, much to Fiz's delight, I expect. Fiz turns to John in April when she has to deal with a family problem involving Chesney...

...also returning to Corrie is Mother Theresa Morton. She'll also turn up (bad pennies always do) in April when she drops by to say hello to her son Darryl and causes some chaos on the cobbles.

Vote for Corrie in All About Soap Bubble Awards 2009

Voting is open now in the All About Soap magazine Bubble Awards 2009. Voting deadline is March 2nd.

Cast your vote for your Coronation Street favourites here.

Monday, 16 February 2009

Coronation Street Weekly Update, February 16 2009

Sign up to receive the Coronation Street Weekly Updates by email, click here.

It’s been a cracker of a week on Corrie this week, what with three marriage proposals and some of the most sparkling dialogue the street’s had in a while. And so, without any further ado, here we go with this week’s Coronation Street update.

There were three proposals this week and all were for barmcake Becky. Proposal number one comes from Jason asking if she’d like to become the new Mrs Grimshaw. She says yes when Jason asks her. He’s dolled up in a white uniform astride a Harley Davidson, straight out of An Officer and A Gentleman. Steve finds out and pops the question too in proposal number two. He’s all done up like a dog’s dinner straight out of the Streetcars office.

Becky turns Steve down but isn’t too sure she’s doing the right thing becoming the new Mrs Grim. When Eileen and Becky bond over cheap booze and Freshco sausage rolls, Becky knows she can’t go through with becoming part of the family knowing in her heart she doesn’t love Jason as much as she loves Steve. Which is good news for Steve when he finds out and he proposes again, this time properly and with a bit of thought.

And so it’s proposal number three that Becky accepts, to become the new Mrs McDonald. Jason’s in tears and Michelle returns from Ireland with Farrah Fawcett flicks and it all kicks off in the Rovers when she finds out about Steve and Becky. She throws a pint over Becky who tells her if she tries it again she’ll smash her smug little face in. “She’s only been here half a day and she’s already turned me pub into a battleground,” moans Liz to anyone who’ll listen, and as it's the best gossip they've heard in weeks, everyone is.

At the Websters, Sally hires Graeme to come in and trim her bush but draws the line when he offers to pollard her cherry. She gives him thirty quid for services rendered but when Kev finds out he accuses Sally of wasting the Webster wodge and spends the night at Ashley’s in a strop. When he returns home he and Sally are mid flow in a good argument just as Sophie brings new boyfriend Ben home for lunch. Sophie stuns her folks when she announces she’s now a Christian committed to having no sex before marriage. A pained Kev, having no sex in marriage, looks at a shocked Sal and the pair of them almost choke on their carbonara.

Tony of the Underworld struggles to maintain control of the ladies who stitch and bitch. He’s the talk of the factory floor after Carla upped and left him and he’s in no mood to be messed with. So when the factory girls drop their stitching and take up singing, complete with disco diva moves to Hey Mickey, You’re So Fine, You’re So Fine, You Blow my Mind, Hey Mickey (clap clap) Hey Mickey (clap clap) well Tony Gordon’s not best pleased. He pulls Julie into the office and tells her she has to sack someone. She’s in a real dilemma, who to choose? Tony’s not bothered and won’t listen to Julie’s wittering, suggesting instead she writes one of those self-help books that sell by the till in Borders and reckons she should call it: Julie Carp’s Compendium of Cack. I don’t know about you, but I’d buy it if it contains such Julie gems as: “Do you know there’s a song for every occasion, evening leaving a cake out in the rain?”

Meanwhile, unemployed Kirk is getting on Julie’s nerves. He decides to become a stuntman and his forward roll on the cobbles is a thing of beauty, it has to be said, but it leaves Julie cold. She’s fed up with him throwing himself down the stairs and wishes he’d grow up and get a proper job.

It’s Maria’s first wedding anniversary and she tends Liam and baby Paul’s grave. There’s a dark, sobbing figure behind her at the graveside, it’s Tony Gordon in tears and Maria warms towards him. She’ll warm towards him so much in the coming weeks that the pair of them will get quite hot, have to lie down and take off all their clothes. Just you wait.

Elsewhere, Janice continues studying for her GCSE and opens the maths book, which always left me cold when I were a lass, still does in fact. “When you’re times-ing decimals, where does the dot go?” she wonders bemused. I haven’t a clue, do you?

And that’s just about that for this week.
--
Blogging away merrily at http://flamingnora.blogspot.com/

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